Behind her teeth 15 rats started screaming

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 02:57:09 GMT

we're in chicago and it is fun and i have an interview at the library!!!!!! extra money and fun and books are nice.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:39:44 GMT

im so frustrated with life right now it's almost unreal.

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 04:24:40 GMT

i dont know what the f u c k i am doing with myself.

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:06:06 GMT

MN and WI were a lot of fun. Now we are back and Dan Petty is staying with us for a few days. We also found a baby kitty that was thrown out of a car and took care of her until we found her a home. It only took a day and a half! good work.

Anyways, I want to kind go over what happened last week:

Saturday Joe and I got off of work and Amanda and her bf came over to chill and see what I needed them to do to keep the animals and plants alive. We chilled on the deck and ended up meeting the new neighbor. She is hot and nice and awesome, good to know! We smoked some blunts and shared stories while we sat in the heat. Mom and dad got into town a few hours later and we went to eat dinner and chilled out. We left at 7am to drive to Plover WI, where aunt diane lives. We stopped at Fudruckers on the way and had yummy burgers. Got to the house around 6 and got a tour of the new house. Kate was home from DC so we got to see her, as well. We played basketball and had a cookout and watched the Bucket List. Joe and I fell asleep soon after.

Monday we woke up and it was hootttt. We went to this crazy greenhouse that had billy goats and ponds with a million tadpoles. Then we went to Schmeekle Reservation and went for a hike. Dad, Joe and I lasted for the longest (4 miles) because everybody else got too sweaty haha. We came home and made sandwiches and drank homemade root beer and then Joe and I went for a really long bike ride on the Green Circle bike trail. I wish there was something that nice around here. When we got back we were gross so we showered and then chilled out watching cable. We had another cookout and then ate mom's homemade strawberry rhubarb pie. YUM. We then watched The Waitress, which I surprisingly enjoyed.

Tuesday we left bright and early for the Twin Cities. Got there at noon and checked in. Then we went to my meeting at MCAD. It was a really nice school and I'm definitely going to apply. After that we were all starving so we went to the Marketplace BBQ and little did we know, the place was famous and has been on lots of TV shows. It was yummy, but my mom and dad's cooking is still better. After we filled our bellies we explored the city and ended up at Lake Calhoun. It was gross outside so we headed back to the hotel at 7 and swam for a few hours and then got some food and headed back to the pool and workout facilites. Joe and I watched Billy Mays on Conan (RIP) haha. Then we passed out.

Wednesday we went to the Minnesota Book Center and it was great. It would be a great place to work. We spent a bunch of time at the Walker Art Center and Sculpture Garden. We also visisted a cathedral (my mom is really into churches). Then we went the Art Institute and Soo Visual Art Center, Treehouse Records and had the best quesadilla ever at French Meadow. Then we went to the a free screening of Larry David's new movie Whatever Works. It was pretty great. Afterwards we went to the hotel to swim and hangout.

Thursday morning we had an early breakfast in St Paul at the Day by Day cafe. and went to visit an really pretty cathedral. We also stopped at the Minnesota history center. Then we chilled by the Mississippi River before heading back to Plover WI. We got back around 430 and went out to some local art galleries and got some food at the Hilltop. Joe and I went on another bike ride when we got back and then spent some time being lazy.

Friday Uncle Jim and Aunt Amy stopped over and visited for awhile before we left for Madison to visit Cam and Skylar. They are the cutest kids! Then we headed down to Columbus WI to Uncle Tom's farm. It was absolutely gorgeous outside and we just hung out outside and explored. Joe has never been there before and he loved it. That night after everybody fell asleep Joe and I smoked on the porch and it was so peaceful. I saw a shooting star, too.

The next morning we left and came back to Cincinnati. It was fun, of course that was just a brief overview. But, it was a great time. Now..if only I wasn't broke.....

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 04:14:39 GMT

Today I cooked one of my most delicious and healthy meals, ever. I made black bean hummus and put it on pita with shredded cheese, some of my mom's bbq sauce drizzled over it, diced tomatoes and onions baked for 15 minutes and then topped with cold diced red bell pepper and cucumber. YUM (the boys also had grille chicken on theirs)

Coolest thing was that Dan Petty was here from Mentor to experience the dinner which he called an orgasmic experience.

Too bad 30 minutes later I get my period and bad cramps so I passed out for awhile, woke up and watched Orlando lose, chilled on the deck with a blunt and checked on my etsy. I haven't sold anything, yet... www.talty.etsy.com

Tomorrow we're going to the see The Hangover and Dan wants to go to Kroger (grocery store), he's weird like that. We'll probably get something to bbq on the roof and Dan will get drunk and almost fall off the roof.

I'm off tomorrow, work was weird today, I trained Benny how to work the line. But, Joe got 5 extra hours today. sweet. Next Check come 2 days before the Minneapolis/Wisconsin trip. Good timing...

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 17:12:06 GMT

i forgot #7 : read a book or three

which reminds me I still owe the library $20

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:54:51 GMT

Yay! Today I am officially done with college! Well, at least done with this degree. We played kickball in the rain by the SCPA. I can't believe they are filming some MTV show there, fuckin Nick Lachey. Anyways, it was jimmy, fulton, nick, me and amy on a team and em, bob, toby, zach and rojo on another. we lost 17-16. bastards. lol then we went to the courtyard and ate soft pretzels and drank pbr. what an awesome way to finish school.

Now my priorities:

1. finish applying to UM
2. Email Andrew
3. make website with Brent
4. go to Minne

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:29:55 GMT

lost helms.

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 04:47:46 GMT

Today Jimmy Emily Bob Suzanne and I went to the bar after class and got tipsy and told stories. It was fun, I love Jimmy now. He stopped being a douche. Next week after our last walk around and last class we are all playing kickball (senior class and prof's) gonna be sweet. The next day is my birthday too and we are all going bowling/drinking. Yay life. I am honestly a little bitter about Wilder. But I calculated how much money Joe and I need to live and move and it is doable by Oct 1. So Hello Minneapolis early fall 09! I'm pummmmmmped!!!!!! Emily is going to Germany till August and then going to grad school in Philly, Bob is moving to Japan if he gets wilder or staying local (lville or cincin). Im guessing Jon will head out to LA or Chicago or NYC and I'm not sure about everyone else. I traded a piece with Nick Hill. He is surprising me with his part of the trade sometime by next tuesday. I am excited. I hope I get helms I ~~want~~ need some extra cash.

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 17:28:29 GMT

The show is up. It is awesome. My talk went smooth as I could of ever hoped. Visit with my parents was fun. My thesis review just went perfect. My professors are beautiful people. I am so lucky. I think I might have figured out what to do for Wilder.
GIVE ME $3000 AAC SO I CAN TRAVEL
Almost done! It feels so good. Cant wait to party Friday!

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:34:54 GMT

2 more days til I am done and the show will be ready to hang, ahhh. My body is so jittery. But my mind is pleased. The gallery talk on Monday will be the scariest part.

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 02:03:14 GMT

The show is less than a week away. holy crap!! I feel really lost right now, but confident with life. My show is going to be awesome, but I have this terrible guilt the parents wont be there, but honestly, I plan on getting drunk, real drunk and their presence would make that awkward.
Bennie has been staying with us for fucking centuries. I love the kid but got sick of seeing him. So I was uber-bitchy to him. And he left today haha. I don't know. I'm lost

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 18:16:55 GMT

Spring has been good for me so far, besides allergies. I feel confident with my work. The next few days are going to be crazy busy because I slacked on some things.

Tonight I have to:
Email my resume to Matt Hart
Write an artist statement
Start writing a project proposal for a residency

Tomorrow:
Meeting with E. Momo
Start final 2 collages
Finish writing proposal
Edit artist statement

Friday:
Work a lot on collages
Edit thesis
Make a flag book

Saturday:
Work a lot on collages
Finish edit on thesis & artist statement and email to thesis group
Write proposal for final project in AB

Sunday:
Finish any writing
Put together info due in Seminar
Make altered book

Monday:
Turn in altered book. proposal and flag book + instructions
Turn in Residency app and grad school info
Work on collages

Tuesday-Friday
Photo collages and large collages

Sunday
INSTALL SHOW

Every spring my brain just becomes a to do list on loop. It drives me crazy. Graduation in 51 days.

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:08:14 GMT

I had a two day headache/sinus attack. That sucked. Life is fine though, I am very nervous about the show but I have this optimism about the whole thing that makes me feel everything is going to work out. I have a lot of work left to do, and maybe I am slacking, but I feel that if I work too much things will get muddy. Muddier than usual.

I am really happy about the result of our facebook event haha. There are like 120 guests & 120 maybes plus like 300 awaiting reply. And I know of about 50 more that arent on FB. Saweet. My manager Barb, from McDonalds said she is coming. wtf?? Haha. Joe's mom might come and Dan Petty. He fucked up though and is on probation. Sandi and Britt are coming!!!!! ANd Dan and Laurel are trying to. And my favorite Uncle. Mom and dad won't be there, honestly a good thing because I can get fuckkkkkkkked up. I've always wanted to get retarded with Uncle Tom. Haha.

I'm so happy it is spring! I am really being a horrible student though and I am going to pay.

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 02:02:29 GMT

I finished the collage and I love it. I took pictures of it, and then I dropped my beautiful camera and broke it. My mom is lending me hers and she is going to get it fixed/replace it for my bday or graduation present. I'm an idiot.

I made a resume today and it took me 3 hours. holy shit.

I have accomplished a lot this week.

Tomorrow I get my haircut at 1130 and then I am going to school to start a new collage and to label and mail show cards.
I have to make an invite on Facebook.

I work this weekend and next and then I am off 3 straight weeks for the show. Hell yes! Luckily mom is lending me some money and I get $100 from the school.

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 01:30:32 GMT

today was good. it is spring break and ben and joe were off work so we all slept in. joe is sick and full of snot. but it was a beautiful day. sunny and cool. We smoked some b's and then ben went with rodge and joe and i headed downtown. got some art supplies and went to school. got high at school, twice, in the 6th floor spray booth. sneaky. Gary told me that he thought my thesis was good for where I am at right now, in the middle of a cross-roads and a lot of uncertainty. He told me not to worry about re-writing anything and to just make work. The paper will recieve moderate marks, but the art will most likely be stronger. As long as I work hard. I put in about 4 hour on the big collage today, tomorrow is its last day and then Wednesday I begin a new series. I think it is finally coming together nicely. I hope the show goes really well.

I am an idiot and did not take a picture of my minumentals and have no documentation of their existence eventhough they made me $200 and an award.

I'm just content right now and have little to type. Spring is here.

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 19:28:32 GMT

It has taken me 3 hours (and counting) to start working on my paper, and it is the last day to work on it. final draft tomorrow. 6 months in the making.

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 16:54:16 GMT

it's been a week since i wrote. I am getting some where with my work and my paper. I have had a lot of discussions. I am over doubting my work, I just need to to find the words to describe it so I don't fumble so badly for rationale when asked about it. I am troubled over this process because I am making art that is as fragmented and directionless as I am right now. I am honestly just living day to day. Taking in everything that I can. I waste a lot of time on the couch or wrestling or smoking or cleaning or any other task that takes up pieces of my time. I have no goals in mind I am just counting down the days until this very big but abstract task is over with and the rest of my life begins. Graduating with this degree is like being handed a giant question mark. I know there are other degrees like this, but the idea of having to make it with your art and find a way to survive is an exciting idea. I definitely do not have any desire to settle anywhere at this point. I just have to keep moving forward in a direction that looks like a promising future and take it where it leads me. I am saturated with thoughts. I am constantly writing my thesis in my head trying to run through as my scenarios as I can trying to find the jackpot. The answer. But the work is so elusive to me. I just need to get it out. They aren't about anything, they are a reaction to living a fragmented life. Every single layer and section of the composition is a fragment. It is a mess, but is there something more? Do these scraps add up to create more than just the sum of their parts? I really enjoy making the collages but talking/writing about them have been such a bitch. Because I don't really think I am committing to anything except being noncommittal.

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:37:29 GMT

Day 2 in one hour.

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 05:21:41 GMT

Friday I did indeed get some shit done. I woke up cleaned the place up smoked 2 b's and headed to school. I worked on the collage for about 3 hours. I am putting another 7 hours in this week and then the crit on Friday.

I made some serious progress on my case bound book today. I only have about 40 minutes more work to do. I then have to put in another hour of work starting the new book by wednesday at 330.

This weekend was good. I worked and played.

I won $150 for my minumentals. and i sold them all. (another $50). Crazy since I put little effort into them. Almost none, actually.

Bennie basically lives w/ Joe and i. We just got into a fist/pillow fight while Joe was showering then Joe came out and put me in a hold and it was over. Sheeeeit.

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 16:31:54 GMT

Getting pumped up. Going to Ohio Book Store and then I have a mtg with Rebecca. I only have one question for her though. I also need to sew a book. AH I might fuck it up w/o April to help my retarded ass.

Day 1 of 7 for Collage #1

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 15:32:26 GMT

President's day we were all off. Bennie stayed over again. We smoked mass, and I "finished" my paper. Other shit happened, too. Tuesday was cool. I talked to Matt even though we are meeting today at 1130. I hope he has read the revised paper, but will understand if he hasn't had time. Stephen Jon Em and I had some silly conversation waiting for the "intervention" to be done with the slackers and profs. Jimmy and Matt met with us. We had a dumb discussion. Jimmy talked some shit to me, and I liked it. The three of us met about my art, they really dug the serial killer books. I told them about my weekend revelations and paper-purchasing. I was told to have a collage started Thursday and they wanted to see something very differnt next Tuesday and then again that Friday. It should be done next Friday for the large group crit. Then I have to make 5 more. They are going to be large. I am confident but nervous about them.

Em is coming to get me and my 13lbs of paper in a bit, unless she dicks me over. Then I will be taking the 1101 bus. Senior Seminar, and Artist Books class today. Trip to the bindery for AS class.

It's shitty out and all I want in life is a studio w/ in walking distance, or better yet, a studio in my house. Dreams that must wait for a few months to be made true.

In other news: Joe and I were alone last night for the first time in awhile and we barely spoke but we did build my drawing table and everything worked, we didn't get super-pissed at each other or break anything. success!

The next day we are both off and have some extra $ a bowling date is eminent.
I think it's supposed to turn back into winter tomorrow.

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 23:12:47 GMT

After Christy made me feel crazy Ken said things that calmed and reassured me. I feel like he understands me very easily while many do not.

I am trying to make sense of it all.

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:19:34 GMT

I just had a crazy meeting with Christy. Basically I am really lost right now with my art. I do not know what I am doing and I am feeling a bit crazy. This was illustrated clearly when I burst out into tears when attempting to describe what my art is about. Because at this point I do not know what I am making art about. She told me that at the AT faculty meeting today I was discussed and they feel that my work is becoming inauthentic and that I seem incredibly lost. I am I am I am. My work is becoming inauthentic because I do not know what the hell I am doing.

I am being pulled into many directions but I have none of my own.

She told me to take the weekend off from making work an Jimmy just walked in here telling me to go buy masonite and stop wasting time.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

me, please? Someone? Jesus? Mom? A basket of kittens? ANYONE

I was also told that I might be going a bit crazy and should talk to the counselor. WOO. fuck meeeee

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 15:02:31 GMT

Yesterday was such a waste. I got my period when I woke up. Smoked 2 blunts and went to school. I got a headache during my first class and then skipped my second. I just got an Email from April and she thought that I skipped because I am broke and told me to make my book out of brown kraft paper because it is free and I have been making collages with it anyway. She is such a caring person. If only she knew that I went home to smoke 4 more with bennie and pass out for the rest of the day. I am a waste of space.

Today I am working for Denise, earning another $30-40. Meeting for Advanced Tutorial. Coming home and finishing a collage. I also have to find out how to make that book before class tomorrow.....gah.

I work thursday night, and that makes me happy. The cafe is my stress relief.

Being a senior in college is the most absurd thing.